How Do I Handle Someone Who Talks Too Little?

Whenever you lead a group of people, you have to realize that some people are just quiet.  Some people are just more content to sit in the group and not participate much in the discussion.  It is not that they do not enjoy the eGroup or are not engaged in the discussion.  Sometimes, they do not have the confidence to participate in the discussion.  Other times, they are just shy and introverted.

Your job as the eGroup Leader is to draw out that person who simply does not talk enough.  You will be surprised to find out that these group members probably have constructive things to share in the discussion.

The following tips are based on both the real-life experiences of our Elevation Church eGroup Leaders and other resources:

• Don't Jump the Gun. If your group is relatively new, or this group member is relatively new, be patient.  It takes some people more time to get comfortable in a group setting.
• Make Eye Contact. Eye contact can influence someone's participation.  If you want to draw conversation out of someone, sometimes it is easy as making eye contact.
• Ask Easier Questions: Do not always assume that it is their issue that is holding them back from sharing.  Examine the questions that you are asking.  Can you ask them in an easier manner?
• Sit Across from the Quiet Person. When you sit right across from someone, you are most likely going to be looking at this person often during the group.
• Use Subgroups. If you are leading a Couple's group, divide the husbands and wives.  If you are leading a Men's or Women's group, divide the group into half.  When the group gets smaller and smaller, it seems to make some people more prone to participating in the discussion.
• Have This Person Read the Scripture Text for the eGroup. Sometimes it is just as easy as getting someone talking via the scriptures to get them going.
• Set the Group Member up for Success. Give the quiet group member a preview to the topic and questions.  Or, require everyone in the group to answer an introductory question; by requiring everyone to answer, the quiet group member is forced to participate.
• Call on the Person Directly. Once a rapport is built, you can simply call on the person and ask for them to give their thoughts or ideas.
• Praise, Praise, Praise. When the group member does finally participate in the discussion, praise them for sharing with the group.

Again, you are the leader of this eGroup and it is your responsibility to manage your people.  When you engage the entire eGroup, you will be amazed by the depth of all of those who have been quiet in the discussions.