How Do I Handle Someone Who Talks Too Much?

If you lead an eGroup for any length of time, you will probably have that group member who simply talks too much.  Few barriers can subvert the depth and transforming power of an eGroup discussion faster than one or more eGroup members who dominate the discussion.

The following tips are some practical steps that you can take to address the person in your eGroup who monopolizes the discussion:

• Set the expectations, if necessary. Provide guidelines for your group members that their answers should following the 3 B's Rule:  Brief, Biblical, and Beneficial.
• Be assertive during the discussion. Be clear and blunt with the group during the discussion that it is important to hear from everyone, not just one or two individual group members.
• Be assertive after the discussion. Pull this group member to the side after the group meeting, and, with love, ask him or her to allow more time for others to participate in the discussion.
• Manage your eye contact with the person. If someone is simply talking too much, make continual eye contact with them.  The group member should be able to pick up on your body language that they are talking too much.
• Manage the group silence. One very practical way to manage the group is to implement rules that everyone must wait at least 10 seconds before answering the question.  This allows everyone time to think about their answer and then gives everyone an opportunity to participate.
• Direct Questions to Other People Specifically: Do not be afraid to call on other people specifically to answer your question or participate in the discussion.
• Ask Around: Try this statement, "What does someone else think"?
• People are Visual: If you were to use a whiteboard to list out the answers during the discussion, the person monopolizing the conversation will continually see their answer on the whiteboard.  This may be enough to drive them to recognize their own tendency to talk and answer questions.

At the end of the day, you just need to take charge of this situation.  You are the leader of this eGroup and it is your responsibility to manage the discussions.  Follow your instincts in managing the flow of the discussion.